Proper "Etta-kett"

Earlier in the week at a concert in Seattle, Etta James let it fly. In reference to Beyonce's singing James' signature song, "At Last" for President and Mrs. Obama at one of the inaugural balls, James said she was going to "whip her ass." And to dig herself an even deeper hole, in the same tirade, James said that President Obama, "the one with the big ears...ain't my president."

Okay, on the count of three, everyone say "jealous bitch." One...two...three: "JEALOUS BITCH!"

And if that still isn't enough, to dig herself into that hole EVEN DEEPER, James later tried (albeit pretty pathetically) to retract or redefine her comments. She said later that she didn't really mean anything by her comments, and that they weren't coming from a vicious place, and that she was just trying to connect with the crowd. She added also that, "Even as a little child, I've always had that comedian kind of attitude. ... That's probably what went into it." Okaaaay....

Well, I've been thinking a lot about this, and I've come to the conclusion that Etta James is a jealous, washed-up, old snatch who couldn't carry a tune with two hands and a bucket. But I'm just kidding really. That's not coming from a vicious place. I'm just trying to connect with you, the reader. Besides, even as a child, I always had that comedian kind of attitude. That's really what went into that statement...