Saturday, December 19, 2009

GOP Weekly Radio Address...

Just listened to the GOP give their weekly radio address. I've decided GOP doesn't stand for Grand Old Party anymore. Instead, it stands for Grumpy Old Pricks. Well, today the grumpiest old prick of them all, John McCain gave the weekly address. He spent five minutes lamenting how awful the Democrats are. How they aren't interested in bipartisanship, and how their healthcare reform is bad policy and should be done more responsibly. My question would be: where were you Mr. McCain between 2000 and 2008? You had 8 years to work on this and I don't recall you doing anything. And to that I say:

Thursday, December 10, 2009


After almost 3 weeks of the drama that is Tiger Woods' marriage and extracurricular activities, it finally dawned on me. THIS must be the "sanctity of marriage" that straights are so afraid gays would destroy by having the right to marry.

Monday, November 30, 2009

Tuesday, November 24, 2009

Sarah Goes Down...

What is it with all the pics of Sarah Palin looking like she's either going down on, or about to go down on a microphone? I mean, how many horny for Sarah photo editors can there possibly be out there?

It's Been Way Too Long...

It's been way too long since I have posted anything. Could it possibly be since July?! I guess I really have been that busy. Well, I'm back in the blog swing. Today's post is short and sweet with just one question:

I wonder how many jobs these teabag rallies have created?

Friday, July 3, 2009

TV Legends

I was surfing youtube last night and found a really awesome channel called TV Legends. It's the channel of the Archive of American Television. The link is provided below. Practically anyone and everyone you can think of that has been interviewed for AAT is on there. The format is pretty simple. The person being interviewed tells their story from childhood through their TV career, up to the present. It's fascinating and truly addicting. I wanted to watch one person's interview, and at 2am, decided it was time to go to bed. Visit the link and enjoy!

Sunday, June 21, 2009

Coupon Book

We've all found them in our mail from time to time. Those coupon books tailored to your neighborhood, with great savings on everything from meals at local restaurants and eyeglasses at the neighborhood optometrist to a coupon for a free fifth oil change at Larry's Lube House.
A few days ago, I found once such coupon book in my mail. I didn't think much of it. It was going to become more landfill, just like all the rest of my junk mail. On closer inspection though, this coupon book seemed to be different. What was it? I couldn't quite put my finger on it. Then it hit me like a bolt from the blue. Take a look at the picture below. Can you figure out what it is?

If you guessed that it features a rather amorous, dough-eyed, same-sex couple, you win! I began wondering, how did two gay men end up on the cover of a neighborhood coupon book? It could be one of several things:
c) gay guys are thrifty and love clipping coupons
a) gay guys love to pose and show off
b) the cover is purple, and gay guys just love purple (actually, they'd call it "plum" or maybe "eggplant", but i digress...)
Actually the answer is none of the above. The answer lies in the neighborhood, Edgewater, itself. As my friend Brian says jokingly, leave it to a bunch of gay guys to move in, fix things up and run up the property values! And that is exactly the answer. Over the last five years or so, gay men have been moving to the Edgewater neighborhood, buying property, fixing it up and creating a nicer, safer, more livable neighborhood. And the coupon book? It's a wise and practical nod by the publisher to the fact that gay men in general have more disposable income, and that their spending power is as legitimate as everyone else's. And most importantly, that the time has come to recognize same-sex relations for exactly what they are, loving, committed relations between two people who work hard and want for themselves the things that everyone else wants. It may only be a silly little coupon book, but it's an enormous leap forward. Three cheers for Neighborhood Direct!

Thursday, June 4, 2009

Republican Bluster...

I was reading some Shakespeare recently, and came across a quote in MacBeth. In Act V, MacBeth has just been given the news of his wife's suicide, and speaks the following line in regards to life:

"It is a tale told by an idiot, full of sound and fury, signifying nothing."

The "tale" in this case is all the republican bluster over President Obama, Sonia Sotomayor, and the democratic administration in general. And the idiot? Just close your eyes, reach out your hand and just pick one!

Oh Great Bard, truer words were never spoketh!

Thursday, May 21, 2009

Is it just me...

or does it seem like Michael Steele (RNC chairman and Charlie McCarthy dummy to Rush Limbaugh's Edgar Bergen ventriloquist) has only one tie?

Wednesday, May 20, 2009

Extinct Creature...

I was waiting for the train to take me to work the other day, and I saw something I thought I'd never see again. A creature long thought extinct. This creature once inhabited almost every town and city in most every part of the world. It was a common creature, seen everywhere from street corners and shopping malls to city parks and sports stadiums. Gradually over time, the creature disappeared and sightings became more fleeting each year. I was lucky I had my iPhone handy, and I was able to snap a picture of this rarest and elusive of creatures.

It was known worldwide by its common name, the payphone user. Latin name: Payphoneicus userasaurus.

If you're lucky enough to ever see one, definitely take a picture if you can. You'll be able to show the picture and tell your grandkids how you were one of the fortunate few to catch a glimpse of this quickly vanishing animal.

Monday, May 11, 2009

The Dick

I’ve been doing some thinking, and I’ve come up with a way to cut our dependence on foreign oil and turn toward a more renewable source of energy. It’s a renewable energy whose potential is nearly limitless. An energy source that can provide heat and comfort and will never, ever wear out. It is none other than:

Dick Cheney, or better
know as, The Dick.

The Dick is a virtually limitless supply of hot air. Don’t believe me? Tune into your local news this evening, or pick up a newspaper. You’ll find The Dick spewing hot air like Mount Etna spews lava! Why should we let all that hot air go unused? Especially when the nation is searching for a new and more efficient energy source. With The Dick, there will be no more need for home heating oil. Hot water heaters, obsolete. Clothes dryers, a thing of the past! The CTU (Cheney Thermal Unit) will replace the British Thermal Unit (BTU) as the standard in energy measurement. In the long, dark months of winter, we will all snuggle up, warm and toasty, safe and content in the warmth provided by the gas bag that is The Dick. And since the source of The Dick’s hot air is so deeply steeped in republican ideology, it’s cheap, too!

But how does The Dick work and put out so much gosh darned hot air, you may ask? Well, just as a solar panel’s energy output is proportionate to the amount of sunshine, or a wind turbine’s to the amount of wind, so is The Dick’s. In this case, the more democrats in the House and Senate, the longer a democrat occupies the White House, all of them working hard for the middle class and families everywhere, the hotter and more forceful the air is that The Dick emits. It’s just that simple.

And by the way, if you were worried about long term effects of using The Dick, don’t be. Using The Dick for you and your family’s heating needs is safe and reliable. There has not been one single documented case in extensive studies of any conversion to the Republican party from using The Dick. The longer we vote democratic, and the longer Democrats run the country, the less and less we will ever have to worry again about our heating needs. We’ll have The Dick!

Sunday, May 10, 2009

A Dubious Advocate

Bristol Palin advocating abstinence is like an arsonist advocating smoke alarms...

Thursday, February 19, 2009

It's "Bristol" Clear...

Bristol Palin, daughter of ex-VP candidate Sarah Palin, was recently interviewed by Fox’s Greta Van Susteren. In her first post-partum interview, darling little Bristol said that having a child is not glamorous and told young people that abstinence is not realistic at all.

Bristol goes on to tell Ms. Van Susteren that, "It's just, like, I'm not living for myself anymore. It's, like, for another person, so it's different…and just you're up all night. And it's not glamorous at all…like, your whole priorities change after having a baby."

Well Bristol, I guess you should have, like, thought of that before you, like, spread your legs.

Tuesday, February 17, 2009

Roland Burris

Remember when you were little and you broke your mom’s favorite lamp because you were running through the house when she told you not to? Remember how your alibis progressed when confronted with the broken lamp?

“No mom, I wasn’t reeeally running.”
“Well, I was kind of running, and I think I might have bumped the lamp.”
“Ok, I was running, and I did knock the lamp over.

Now fast forward to late 2008 and early 2009. When confronted with the possibility of his nomination for Illinois senator being tainted by “pay to play” shenanigans involving ex-scumbag governor Rod Blagojevich, Burris was adamant that there was no tit for tat. Absolutely no way. He’s way too clean a guy for that, he protested, to anyone who would listen.

But over this past weekend Burris acknowledged that he had indeed spoken with members of the Blagojevich goon squad, but that he categorically rejected the advances to fundraise for the ex-governor.

Now it’s come out today that he indeed did attempt to raise funds for Blagojevich, but was unable to find any donors.


So here are those child-like alibis rearing their ugly heads again.

“No, of course I didn’t engage in talks with with ex-governor.”
“Well maybe there was a phone call or two, kinda sorta. But I would never give in to that sort of pressure. I’m clean!
“Ok, I was talking to people and trying to raise money. But I couldn’t find any donors, so the means I’m still clean!”

Note to Mr. Burris: spread that crap on the lawn. I’m not buying it. I was sick to death of my state being the punchline for late night talk show host’s jokes, and you’ve only made it worse. You’re a joke and an embarassment to yourself and the state you claim to represent. It’s time to go.

Sunday, February 8, 2009


My goal for several years has been to see all the movies nominated for the best picture Oscar. As of today, I'm 2 for 5, closer than I've ever been in many years. Today's movie was "Frost/Nixon" directed by Ron Howard and starring Michael Sheen as David Frost and Frank Langella as Richard Nixon. There are several other superb performances by Sam Rockwell, Oliver Platt, Kevin Bacon and Jay White as Neil Diamond (don't ask, just see it for yourself...)

One of the marks of a great actor and movie for me is when I realize that at some point I've stopped watching the actor play a part, and I'm actually watching the character. This was definitely one of those cases. I found myself not watching Michael Sheen as Frost and Frank Langella as Nixon, but actually engrossed in seeing Frost and Nixon interact. I've always been a Frank Langella fan, and I became a Michael Sheen convert when I saw him in "The Queen" as Prime Minister Tony Blair. Neither actor disappointed in this film, repeating their respective roles from the stage play.

The film is tight and methodic in its buildup to the climatic interview scene on Watergate. My only beef with the film, without giving anything away, is one scene inserted into the film that is completely fictional. I understand the rationale for the scene and its use in furthering the story; however the purpose this scene was meant to serve could have been accomplished easily in some other way. It weakened one of the characters and took something away from the film as a whole.

Despite that, I still give the film four stars, and Frank Langella has my vote for best actor. For those of you who are old enough to remember the actual Frost/Nixon interviews this is a must see film. And for those of you who aren't old enough to remember them, this is your chance to peek in on a moment in history.

Saturday, February 7, 2009

Proper "Etta-kett"

Earlier in the week at a concert in Seattle, Etta James let it fly. In reference to Beyonce's singing James' signature song, "At Last" for President and Mrs. Obama at one of the inaugural balls, James said she was going to "whip her ass." And to dig herself an even deeper hole, in the same tirade, James said that President Obama, "the one with the big ears...ain't my president."

Okay, on the count of three, everyone say "jealous bitch." One...two...three: "JEALOUS BITCH!"

And if that still isn't enough, to dig herself into that hole EVEN DEEPER, James later tried (albeit pretty pathetically) to retract or redefine her comments. She said later that she didn't really mean anything by her comments, and that they weren't coming from a vicious place, and that she was just trying to connect with the crowd. She added also that, "Even as a little child, I've always had that comedian kind of attitude. ... That's probably what went into it." Okaaaay....

Well, I've been thinking a lot about this, and I've come to the conclusion that Etta James is a jealous, washed-up, old snatch who couldn't carry a tune with two hands and a bucket. But I'm just kidding really. That's not coming from a vicious place. I'm just trying to connect with you, the reader. Besides, even as a child, I always had that comedian kind of attitude. That's really what went into that statement...

Sunday, February 1, 2009

Quote Of The Week

Democrat Barney Frank, representative of the 4th congressional district of Massachusetts and chairman of the Financial Services Committee was on "This Week With George Stephanopoulos" today debating President Obama's economic stimulus package. When Jim DeMint, Republican Senator from South Carolina, defended the ridiculous republican notion that more of the stimulus package should go to tax cuts instead of things like infrastructure spending, Frank responded with what, in my opinion, sums it up perfectly, "I never saw a tax cut fix a bridge." You go Barney!

Friday, January 23, 2009

Nancy Pelosi

I was watching the inauguration on Tuesday and I noticed that Nancy Pelosi is always smiling. And not just a polite, "I'm so glad to see you" smile either. After much research, I decided it has to be one of four things:
a) she didn't listen to her mother when she said, "If you make that face too much, it'll stick that way!"
b) she was just gassed by the Joker
c) she just farted
d) the knot is tied too tight on the back of her neck
whatever the reason, it's downright creepy!

Wednesday, January 14, 2009

Random Thought...

Why is it that ships carry cargo, and trucks carry shipments?

Sunday, January 11, 2009

Slumdog Millionaire

Just came back from seeing "Slumdog Millionaire" with my friend Bruce. It is by far the best film I've seen in at least five years, maybe even ten. The screenplay is flawless, the cast and acting is perfection, the cinematography is stunning and the soundtrack is subtle brilliance. The ticket price was $10, and worth every cent. If you don't see this film, you're missing out on what movie making is all about.